A. 57. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Q. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. Ha! says the barman. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Because he was looking for Pooh! Pee implies queue. A. A. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. . Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. Im feeling really wiped. 4. In the baaa-throom. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. We try to find out what kids love. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! What do you call it when you piss down a slide? The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. A. Pis-tachio. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. This goes right up there for proudest moment of my life, next to saving a child from a burning building. Here are some clean poop jokes for kids. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Now you say, Control freak who?. What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. 1. Q. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Kids love knock knock jokes. Still craving more? Nah, they always stink. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? A. Control-P. Q. If you have to force it, its probably crap. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? 99. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. It runs in your genes. 55. 69. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? 78. 39. See you in the Email! Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Q. 51. Q. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Why is the cat so grouchy? Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists? ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". Thanks for coming! Use these one liners at your own risk. 1. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. Outlaws are wanted. The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement. I once had a case of diarrhea. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. 88. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. If you pee on them they disappear. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Why do ducks have feathers? Q. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. When is the best time to go to the restroom? A. It leaked so they had to release it early. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Knock, knock. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. And, oh boy, is this good. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Stinker Bell! 70. If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? What do you call prank plastic dog poop. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? To get to the bottom! . is it a bow-wowel movement? Knock, knock. Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? 4. Because they eat way too many peanuts. You look flushed! When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? 23. What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? She was a party pooper. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Dam! I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." Anyway, just thought I would share. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? 76. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? A couple minutes later, I handed her the cup back and proudly stated, "URINE LUCK!". Funny one-liners. Captain Hooky. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. A. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Is farting a missed call? 59. It never came out! A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Why did the cat run from the tree? There was a birthday potty! Because he was stuffed. But theyre a solid number 2. I hate spelling errors. Well, you either stink or swim! When a young adult goes to take a leak, does that mean they're a peenager? What is every urologist's favorite rap group? Because eye doctors dilate! You are signed up for our newsletter! There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. They go through a lot of shit. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Because it's all about number one. 34. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. We hope you will find these urinary pee. the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? I had to put my foot down. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 It wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. . 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Q. A. What do women and toilet paper have in common? They just wash up on shore. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Why is #1 yellow? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Because the p is silent. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. We've been through a lot of shit together. Q. Where's the p, 19. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Q. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. She said she didnt feel a thing! Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. She got dumped. Knock, knock. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Son: No, not yet. Wet. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. A. Mopey Dick. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? What do octopuses do after using the toilet? I dont really like how you can feel it move though. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. A salad shooter. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Paddy frowns. " It runs in your jeans. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Its part of an anti-litter campaign. 25. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Kids will surely love it! Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. They both hope to make it home. 2. Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Children are like farts. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. Its funny just saying it. We apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit. Why did the bakers hands stink? Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Toilet jokes arent my favorite She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 98. He couldnt budget. 2. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Q. Q. A. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. He was a lion thief. Why arent dogs good dancers? 62. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. Flush Gordon. A. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. 5. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 3. A. 1. Whos there? 1. 2. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. 3. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! It got stuck in the crack! A. He was a whiz kid. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. Because he was sitting on the deck. What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." Required fields are marked *. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. We dont judge them. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. A whizzard. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. Distinguished and well-know. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. Poodini. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? Here are more jokes that you didnt know you need in your life but you do. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. 71. A. How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Darn tootin'! Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. So here's what happened. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. Does this taste funny to you?. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. 2. And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! An easy pill can do the job. To return Click Here. 79. I actually like poop jokes. This is really rough. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Urine trouble. Q. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? 100. 41. . 2. Ha! says the barman. A. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. Because it was stuck in a crack. Q. 11. 42. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. What is crunchy and says meow? I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. 1. Why did the rooster cross the road? WebThe man says, imma just teac. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? Q. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. I hate spelling errors. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? you see where this is going). Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Little brother: I need to pee! Where does a winemaker get his gossip? Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? An arm and a leg. 6. It was Chewie. I feel bad for toilets. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Will you pee my Valentine? A. 65. Did you hear they arrested the devil? And then, my teacher, who is about as strict and as hard to make laugh as they get, slowly sinks into her table and covers her face. A. Urine Trouble! The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Your email address will not be published. Love is like a fart. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. It runs in your genes. Keep it flush with the wall. 2. What do you call Santas helpers? Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Did you hear about the constipated composer? A. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Captain Hooky. 87. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Because he only deals with in-continent patients. What do women and toilet paper have in common? A. Pee-Rex. To make it to the bottom! What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Darn tootin'! Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! Q. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! The trots! He does the same thing for four nights. Carry on with the groaners. Q. A large fortune. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. It was clogged. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! A. Q. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. What do a clowns farts smell like? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. How did the hospital basketball league end the season? Through the grapevine. Sign at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Nobel. A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Why cant you trust an atom? 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. That means one guy likes it. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? A. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? What do you call a pirate that skips class? I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. A gummy bear. WebThe man says, imma just teac. He kneaded a poo. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. We recommend our users to update the browser. Q. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. There will be more jokes to come. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. Knock knock. Read more:FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat Will Knock Them Over! One. more like dad revelations. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? I like toilets for two reasons. I love my toilet.