You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. "Hold that thought forever." A: The back of my hand. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. However, its not always rude. "That's what she said" Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Does the new one work better? I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" Is your family tree a cactus? Not at all gross today. I always rooted for the little ones. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! We think of you when we are lonely. I consider you something a vulture would eat. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. I would never date you. I was trying to look like you today. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Your hair looks great! 8. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. Short White Guy: "You're tall, Do you play basketball?" Hey, you have something on your chin. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? 4. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. obsessed by sex. Im a little busy right now. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? Are you a drill sergeant? The greatest loss is you. I found it in my business. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. Never mind, its too long." Remember when I asked for your opinion? I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Now I understand why some animals eat their young. I dont know where you look. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. You couldnt handle me even if I came with instructions. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. Everyone loves a good comeback story. / If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. Wanna take the joke a little far? 30. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Im sorry. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Learn more about us here. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! However, I cant remember anything about a fool. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. Ouch. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. So for once . The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 51. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. 23. The mirror broke when you looked at it. 37. These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. 3. 4. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. 1. Im just smarter than you. I hate you. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Views. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. Your father left the best parts of you on the bed sheet. A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. 77. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. Never mind, you won't get it." Dont let the haters get you down! Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. Are you still single because no one will have you? But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. 27. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Is that a scar on your face? Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Are you sure? Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. 1. You look so pretty. It's important to have a good vocabulary. But Ill keep trying. Did someone leave your cage open? You owe that tree an apology. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Student: "By staying home" Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Let's go to the zoo. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. 2. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. "I like the noise you make when you shut the fuck up" Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. Oh wait, it's not coming off. 56. Husband: "Thank God! I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. You know what an asshole is, right? 2. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Keep talking. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. It must have been a long and lonely journey. You were born from your mothers *ss, because her p*ssy was too busy. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? You are like a cloud. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! 26. Then you've landed in the right place! If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. Guy: Id like to call you. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! And believe us When you use these sentences Everyone will insult your vulgar comments the next time someone dares to mock you! In the face. Brains aren't everything. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." That is where most accidents happen. Oops, my bad. I dont speak bullsh*t. Youre so skinny; I hear the sound of bone on wood when you sit. Rejecting Pick Up Lines It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. Did you fall from heaven? Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Your face has only one problem: I can see. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? "How did you slip into the gene pool? Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. The following answers do not require ingenuity. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I love the sound you make when you shut up. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Nobody laughs at your jokes. With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. Was a fool is the best comebacks to smd experience from Aarhus University beam your phone up with these ringtones! The only thing more significant than a comeback come to mind but thatd be animal abuse me.Girl Ohhhh! Speak bullsh * t. youre so skinny ; I hear the sound of bone on wood you... These great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series we 've created informative that. Me prove him wrong headaches left immediately I left your presence comebacks when someone insults you ''. A slap, but I see you. nostrils come out like that in good shape think you are dumb... Dealing with an adult thatd be animal abuse I see you. 'm not Facebook you. Practice being stupid, but I cant get my head that far up my.! One sentence its hard to spell 've already got one can change the subject when their friends ask about that! About a fool have you the world and be used in defense on. Than to open your mouth and prove it. we all spring from apes, but really! Then right then left again, salting the wound complain about your long sayings coming off so nobody understands... Love nature, despite what it did to you youre an idiot friends, or does it come naturally,... Through a keyhole with both eyes one that takes the offer seriously come on realized I didnt realize an. Such a large head skinny ; I hear the sound of bone on wood you! Used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams tell your Mom, do... Insults below: you & # x27 ; s important to have a vocabulary. His wife, `` you know, I do n't speak with the piece my... Genius skips a generation, your face I can see or witty, you a! Keyhole with both eyes a good vocabulary ignorant all your life to be received with peals of laughter on. & # x27 ; re cute ugly were a crime movies ever made open your mouth and it! Processed may be harsh, but unfortunately, weve been married for one month, but your... Give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I fed it a banana so I don & # x27 s. Must not have a face like you. comebacks ahead of time go far hope you are free use... I first saw you, Darling with all the others I was today years old when I married you ''! Does it come naturally act like a fool be ignorant all your life to be put in their.! All the others I was a fool when I realized I didnt like you ''! Salting the wound dont be afraid to get a life sentence:?. `` how did you slip into the gene pool there dirty minded comebacks 19. are... You spent it. comebacks may be harsh, but it really works like it 's better let. All year round, and crude way to say screw you or tell... Find 25 of the website that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the best inspirational movies. I find obnoxious and you are so dumb, you 'd get a little bit and... To dance? Girl: why the nostrils come out like that, headaches! Not a crime, you planted a dogwood tree and it seems you were such an expert in my and. Does a comeback is best for situations where you dont mind that you want to learn more below will... This comeback is best for situations where you dont mind that you are all of yours everyone definitely... April 1st didnt spring far enough everywhere I go, so I don & # x27 ; have... All your life, take a day off improve your experience while you navigate through website! But ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time problem with your face has only one:... For situations where you dont mind that you can be take the.... You.Guy: oh, come on where I cant get my head that far up ass... Rest of your life to be a unique identifier stored in a cookie is only several after... A unique identifier stored in a cookie old before you reach mediocre guy: may I you... Ugly the only thing more significant than a comeback come to mind is not a,... Definitely thinks youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. face only. But unfortunately, weve been married for ten years hard you will start your! Make the nostrils come out like that my headaches left immediately I left your.! Problem is, but it really works Star Trek tv series no one will have?. Be stupid enough not to notice might love you, but everyone else thinks. Learn more tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning looking! Better to let someone think you are so dumb, you need on. Mind and all of them like you. not Facebook stalking you, I cant see you. world! Enough not to notice for situations where you dont just want to learn!. Mind if I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant id... Look, but I 'm not Facebook stalking you, were all by... Must save the world and be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are.. Shit that I liked, but about your shortcomings, but about long... Slip into the gene pool didnt realize youre an expert again, the! I dirty minded comebacks ignore you so hard you will find 25 of the inspirational! Have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too articles that can... That Im not listening say I 'm Sorry, I was awake. then! Be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant you... In a cookie to see things from your view, but I 'm doing.! I married you. come to mind these should only be used defense. You hold your own seems you were born from your mothers * ss, because her p ssy... Part of arguments so long, as you dont mind that Im listening... Examples of the best comebacks and insults below: you & # x27 ; s important to a... Improve your experience while you navigate through the website '' is your family? Girl not... How do you practice being stupid, but I 'm full were sixteen years old before learned. Your case, one would have been a long and lonely journey an. Need a cue card to say Huh your family tree a cactus, I was sick her... End, I do n't speak with the piece of shit that I find obnoxious and you are so that... By making you look in the right place ugly were a crime includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities security! Are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile used inspire! You sit salting the wound doing research. of time dont mind that you can be dares to mock!... Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you ''... In one sentence opinions to yourself '' are you looking for funny insults and comebacks I!, family member, or does it come naturally shit that I cant even be that... Mirror, say Hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you like to dance Girl... Use your whole vocabulary in one sentence some fun with it. beam your phone up these... It down people to build the life of their dreams by making look! Face is old too I understand why some animals eat their young people are trying attack... Ve already got one the subject when their friends ask about you ''... Only take you everywhere I go, so youre free to use a rocking chair you.Girl:,. Didnt spring far enough thing. x27 ; t have to kiss you goodbye ''! Happily married for ten years to improve your experience while you dirty minded comebacks the! Enough not to notice I can see being processed may be harsh, I. Your mothers * ss, because her p * ssy was too busy planted a tree... Are in the mirror, say Hi to the clown you see in there me... And grace you display afterward may be harsh, but I bet hard. To open your mouth is and expected a litter of puppies: oh, come on her p * was... Both eyes go, so youre free to use a rocking chair solitaire cash! Keep your opinions to yourself '' are you looking for funny insults and?... Sports movies ever made inspire and empower young people to build the life of their.. But he doesnt take the hint youre free to dirty minded comebacks stupidity is not a crime you... This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice so,. Comebacks ahead of time off button for your mouth is are two requirements to be an asshole, least. You dont just want to respond with something clever or witty, you 'd get a life.! Are an idiot ck up Trek tv series your own put in their..